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Child support payments are based on the cold hard numbers reported by both spouses in their tax returns. Like it or not, he has financial responsibilities in taking care of his kids, period.

I would be gravely concerned about a man’s character if he did not want to fulfill those commitments. Whether he was the perpetrator of infidelity or the victim, the tailwinds of cheating bring an ugly stench to the divorce process.

The real reason his divorce hasn’t been finalized could be because of unfinished legal business. Often, his anger will be directed towards his wife – not necessarily through long rants but through small jabs, backhanded remarks and seething sarcasm disguised as humour.

I remember one separated man I dated would seethe as he referred to his wife as the “Succubus” — she’s a demon that takes on a human form to sexually seduce men.

Though his reasons for cheating were probably very valid and real to him, he and he alone decided to problem-solve his unhappiness by betraying his wife.

If he continues to blame his wife and doesn’t express remorse, it means he hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions and will feel more entitled to cheat again (on you).

When he minimizes or avoids the topic, however, it suggests that either he has not yet worked through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); or, he hasn’t yet hashed through the legalities (or possibly even begun). He can’t just flick it off his shoulder as he would a bug. Anger is a normal and healthy phase for your separated man to go through.

This is a man who once loved his wife, believed in marriage and the family dream, and committed himself to making it work. But that doesn’t mean it’s your job to deal with it, especially when he might be stuck in this state indefinitely.

The high and excitement of getting involved with you is essentially distracting him from the pain of his divorce.More often than not, it’s anger, self-pity, and feelings of entitlement that fuel a man’s complaints over support. So if you decide to stick around, I’d recommend you prepare for more than a nose full.He might feel he deserves more of a say, more over how she spends the money, among other things. If he was the perpetrator: Though some experts say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, I personally think that some people can learn from past mistakes.( still married; just saying…) Now before anyone accuses me of picking on men, let me hasten to say that separated women can be just as “challenging” to date as separated men.In fact, I pity any man who dated me when I was separated; I was messed up, and didn’t even know it!




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